Katie Holmes, a Scientologist?

I was tricked into going to a Scientology meeting that forced all newcomers to convert to Scientology. We were paired up into twos around the perimeter of the meeting room. We had to stare into our partners' eyes and chant (I'm not kidding) "koo koo roo koo" over and over. As I started chanting, my eyes closed and I realized that I couldn't open them again. There was no escape.

This was supposed to put the newcomers into a trance and our eyes would start changing color. You knew you were completely converted when your eyes became lavender. The weirdest thing is that I knew some heavenly creature would appear at the moment we were all converted, and that the heavenly creature would be played by Jack Nicholson.