Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

I was walking down Central Park West, and since I had forgotten to tell my brother I was coming to New York City, rented a room in a fleabag motel for $100. I was talking to my brother on my cell phone to coordinate meeting him the next day when a huge earthquake struck.

Dust blew up in the motel room as the walls shook and I waited for the building to collapse. When it didn't, I left the building to find that we were being attacked by LATIN AMERICA. Apparently George W had provoked some Latin American country and they had attacked New York City in response. Missiles were flying and a cloud of black smoke was settling over midtown. Several buildings had been destroyed and there was chaos outside. Everyone started walking north, seeming kind of blasé about it all.