Just for you, my most recently ex-ex-pat friends and the dancing Chinese underwear models that love you

I was minding my own business, trying to fall asleep, when J. Lo appeared and made out with me for about ten seconds. She took off, and then, just as I was adjusting to the bizzareness of that, GWEN STEFANI appeared, and then we had to make out too. Word must have been getting around.