FAQ

My faithful readership, mostly Claire, has demanded answers to burning dream blog questions. I shall answer them in the slightly-annoying pomo style of David Foster Wallace, because I have no patients to see this morning and can’t think of anything better to do.

Q.
A. No, they are not “made up.” Several of my dedicated fans, including those who have known me too long and should know better, have doubted that my dreams are “real.” I guess the answer is, yes, they’re made up, but I am not awake during the process. I and others have multiple theories about why my dreams are so strange, but perhaps we can leave that for FAQ 2: The Rage.

Q.
A. I’m only censoring my dreams in the sense that some do not make it to the publishing stage, either because I think they’re too fucked up or because I think others would not want their dream selves doing crazy shit posted on the Internet. (However, oftentimes after I check in with people about questionable dreams, eg. a certain someone who in my dream was eating handfuls of Wellbutrin out of a huge potato chip bag, they don't seem to have a problem with the dream being published for all to see.) However, since I am the blog dictator, I maintain censorship rights.

Q.
A. I usually wait until work, where I generally am underworked, to write my dreams down. They’re usually vivid enough that if I just remember one word, like “Jerri Blank” (okay, two words), the dream will come back into focus. This will likely change as soon as I am on a rotation that requires that I actually do something in the mornings.