The Ultimate Bagel Snob

I went to a bagel store and desperately wanted a poppy seed bagel. I had to walk along cobblestone roads and narrow alleys to get there. The line was long inside the cramped, dusty store, and I ended up ordering a caraway bagel.

The woman behind the counter inflated the bagel with air so that the skin was paper-thin, and then she examined its texture carefully. She checked the symmetry of the bagel and noted if any abnormalities in shape were distorting its roundness. She decided that the bagel was too asymmetric and that I couldn't buy it. I was starving, and asked if I could at least have a piece. She sliced off a piece of thin skin for me and said with distain, "If you wanted just any bagel, you should have gone to another bagel store."