Mc Embarrassed

Okay, okay. Yes. I dreamed that I kissed Mc Lovin (aka Christopher Mintz-Plasse). And he was a real Don Juan. But it was only for like 10 seconds. And then, I deeply regretted it. So it's like it never happened, right? Can I forget about this dream now?

See, in the dream, DeVon had just written a long article about him the the New Yorker after having accidently gotten into a cab with him and his friends. So we were all hanging out in a hotel, me and Peter and DeVon, and Farhad, and my mom, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse, like you do. It was bound to happen. But why, why, Mc Lovin?!? Nafis, are you happy now?

Austrian Dungeonmaster meets Mormon Fundamentalists meets Fargo

I was a spiritual counselor, and a troubled woman wearing five dresses invited me into her cabin for consultation. The woman’s dresses were all tank top dresses in different pastel colors, that fell over each other, such that the different lengths of the dresses overlapped in pastel. This woman reluctantly told me, very softly, that she had been seduced away from her husband by a younger woman, with whom she was now having a passionate affair. The more she talked about it, the more this woman was afraid to tell me about the relationship, and I realized that it was most likely that this woman was underage. I asked the woman directly if the girl was underage, and she didn’t say anything. Instead, she walked outside.

The perspective of the dream changed at this point. I saw an icky pockmarked older man who was this woman’s neighbor, walking over into her yard, American Beauty style, and it was clear to me at that point that he had overheard everything. I waited a minute before following the woman outside, but before I could make it into the yard, I could see tiny bits and pieces of pastel dress and bits of bloody tissue falling into a pile into the snow. I realized the man was disgusted with this woman’s lesbian, potentially illegal, infidelity, and had thrown her into the wood chipper.

The best dream I've had in a long time

I met Mark Twain's dog. He was large, brown, cute, and strangely, still alive and well. He was living in a wooden cabin with his puppies, who were also brown and cute. Only a few of them were there, and others were wandering around outside. There was a plaque on the wall of the cabin that somehow gave proof that this dog had actually belonged to Mark Twain. I felt, as I petted Mark Twain's dog, this sense of peace and calm that always escapes me in waking life, like everything was in place and how it should be. I didn't want to leave.

When I had finished petting the dog and decided to leave, I saw a display of souvenir boxes that contained various potpourri scents that were used to fragrance the room for tourists. There were four scents, one for how the room was scented for each season. I really wanted to buy one so that the smell could remind me of the feeling I had in the room, but then I found out that the box was 30 bucks, which I thought was too much.

An odd, bejeweled, funeral service

I was at a funeral for someone, a blond younger guy, a friend of my dad. I think he might have been German. He had died, and we were in an attic-like room with a bad tan rug having the funeral service. One wall of the room was lined by mahogany-colored books of different series. One series was all the different personality types, a set of about 12, each book about a different personality type. There was another, similar, set of books, but I didn't know what they were about.

My dad asked my brother to go up and play the piano and he did, but he only knew rousing Broadway and jazz music. My dad asked him to play something slower, and my brother felt a little embarrassed, but did anyway. Unfortunately, the piece that he started playing was only a little less rousing than before. I felt bad for my brother, since he clearly had only memorized a few songs for the service.

A team of people was creaing some sort of art memorial nearby in the room, and they were gluing large plastic jewels of all sizes to loops and circles of glue on a large structure made with white walls. It was supposedly designed in the Greek style, but I thought it just looked tacky and felt bad for the dead person.

Forever conditioner

I saw a new set of shampoo and conditioner available as a set in a store. It was lined up in a wooden box - one bottle of shampoo, and about six bottles of conditioner. You use the shampoo every time you wash your hair, and slowly use up each conditioner bottle and move on to the next. By the time you finish the last bottle of conditioner, your hair will be PERMANENTLY CONDITIONED and you will never have to condition again.

I was quite excited by this idea, but I wondered, why do they give you only one bottle of shampoo?

Natalie

I learned that Natalie Portman's first name at birth was Propecia, and she had changed it to Natalie for her stage name.

(The next day, when I woke up, my friend Annie gave birth to her (fairly bald) baby, who she and her husband unexpectedly named Natalie.)

Mammogram!

Mammogram machines had changed for the better. I was in a large stockroom full of these machines, and was ready to have someone teach me how to use one. No sales people were available, so I started teaching myself. I pressed a button, and an orange shock of  electricity arose from a tube, and went into the machine. I could see the orange electricity spreading in thin rivulets through the wires of the machine, and then it was over. Apparently, that was all there was to it.

I repeated this several times, and decided to leave. As I walked away, I saw many metal knobs on the right side of the machine, but didn't know what they were for. I thought it was sad that there was no one there to properly teach me how to use the machine, but I left anyway. On my way out, I glanced at several plaques and posters mounted on the walls that explained the history of mammography.

Babies in Lebanon

Katrina was going to Lebanon for work, even though her baby was due next week. She didn't seem upset about it at all. I asked her about the prospect of delivering in Lebanon, but she was totally unfazed.