Put a sock in it

My old therapist drove many miles to pay me a home visit. I was thrilled, especially because I suspected this meant that I was one of his favorite clients.

However, when he got to my house, he spent most of the session time complaining about how bad the traffic was en route. I was like, shut up already, YOU need to start listening to ME.

Gonna build myself a levee

One of the heads of pathology at my institution had a gigantic office. One entire side of the office was a glass wall behind which was an underwater ocean scene, complete with kelp, fish, and a rocky ocean bottom.

I was told that this display was installed by this doctor because she had recurring nightmares about the ocean. Building this office installation was her way of coping.

Bad bands and good IPEX

My father, brother, and I were enjoying a lovely day at the park. They were trying to leave, but I was distracted by a pile of CDs left in a pile in a grassy field. I sifted through them, all old 90's-ish B-sides and singles; the only band I remember seeing a single from was Temple of the Dog. That's right, Temple of the Dog.

Then, I went to Victoria's Secret with my mother to gush about the phenomenal greatness of their IPEX demi bra, the most newest and amazing bra to ever be created by humans. To our sullen dismay, the racks and racks of glorious IPEX bras I had seen just the other day were gone. It was a sad day in Braville--the mighty IPEX had sold out. A true nightmare indeed.

Dr. Drew

I met this man at a party with Sharat. We talked for a while, and he said, "It's been nice to meet you--come watch my show anytime!"

I realized that this guy was likely famous, and after a while, that he was Dr. Drew from Loveline.

We went to go search for him, and he was in the back at a dentistry booth, selling toothbrushes and whitening pastes. It was then that we realized that Dr. Drew was .... horror! .... a dentist!

Why it's dangerous to have to give like a million presentations about yeast at work

I was covered in yeast.

Particularly my legs--when I scratched them, white lines of yeast would rapidly grow in the scratch marks.

Worse, I had transfered my yeast to a friend without knowing it, and even worse, I later realized that I was harboring THREE kinds of yeast, not just one.

I called my friend's brother, who happened to be an infectious disease fellow, and he gave me some treatment tips.

High-concept bikini art

I was perusing an photo spread in a women's magazine featuring Britney Spears. She was modeling different styles of bikinis. The weird thing was, Britney had been removed from all the photos so only the disembodied bikinis remained.

Prada

Yet another product placement dream...

I stumbled upon an upscale Marina people-type fashion party in a huge mansion. There were fashion displays of ungodly-priced feminine apparel along with vendors of incredible pricey bathroom and grooming products.

I managed to skulk around in my unfancy clothes long enough to check out most of the booths. My coup of the evening was snagging a pocket-sized sample of Prada lotion. I couldn't wait to tell my friends.